Few funny tales still left to tell. There must be tens of more, but one should always remember to write down them all immediately. Otherwise they just disappear, possibly for good.
I have made my first cakes and rolls back in the day when I didn’t have any electric mixers or alike to help whisk the dough. Lacking the proper technique as well, it was hard work. You could whisk forever and ever, and still not get the results you would hope for.
So my first swiss roll was made this way as well. I whisked the dough for fifteen minutes just to realise it was nowhere near done yet. I whisked another fifteen minutes and the dough started to get somewhat fluffy, but not enough, so I kept going. After ten more minutes I was so tired that I just decided to add flour, pour the mixture on the tray and hope for the best. And out of the oven came about three millimeter thick, sticky cake bottom.. which I still filled and rolled. It was one very flat swiss roll, and felt almost like rubber in your mouth when eating it. Wasn’t good enough to serve to anyone else, but did eat it myself anyway.
Kitchen on fire!
This story isn’t exactly cooking related, but takes place in the kitchen nevertheless. It was around 9pm, kids were already in bed (but not sleeping) and I was watching the news in the living room with my husband. There was a news report about massive fire and sound of fire engine sirens coming from the tv.
What’s burning there, yelled my older daughter from the bedroom.
Nothing, I say, there is just fire on tv.
What’s burning there, she yells again.
It’s nothing, says her dad, just go to sleep, it’s the television.
“No not the tv, our kitchen!” answers the concerned voice from the bedroom.
So, I get up to see what is going on and see flames almost reaching the ceiling from the stove. Yes, something was definitely burning. Quickly to extinguish the fire, and once the flames had subsided, we could see we were lucky enough to avoid any bigger damage – just some ash and dirt all over the kitchen. Luckily enough the fire didn’t quite reach the cupboards.
And what exactly was burning in the kitchen? Tea cosy of course. Back then, and even years after, I made my coffee in a pan while everyone else already had coffee makers. Pan coffee was, and still is, so much better than one made with a coffee maker.
That being said, I might have the world record of burning tea cosies. During the pan coffee era, I managed to burn over ten tea cosies in different, brilliant ways: I would have the coffee boiling, but instead of a lid, I would put the cosy on top of the pan. Or put the cosy on top the pan, and forgot to turn off the stove. Or forgot the cosy too close to the hot stove etc – the list goes on and on. Finally I got a tea cosy as a present from my sister, with a note inside it saying that it doesn’t have an insurance in case of fire… and still to this day, I got that very same cosy, even though it is very rarely used these days.
How to use a coffee maker:
From tea cosies we can easily move to the next step in the evolution of coffee making: coffee maker. I have a sneaking suspicion, that I am not the only one who has had some trouble learning the fine art of using a coffee maker – it doesn’t take more than a moment of absent mindedness to make a proper mess with such a simple machine. Some of the different variations I have done over the years:
-Put water in the coffee maker, put filter where it belongs and coffee in the filter. Come back in half an hour to make sure you forgot to actually put the machine on.
-Put filter in its place, coffee in the filter, turn on the machine. Come back after a while to make sure you forgot to add water.
-Put water in the coffee maker and turn it on. Come back in a while to make sure you forgot to put the filter in its place, not to mention adding coffee..
-And finally, put water in the coffee maker, put filter where it belongs and coffee in the filter. Even remember to turn on the machine ..And come back after a while to make sure you forgot to put the pan in its place. Clean up the mess.
Last year I made doughnuts for the first time in a very long time. Since I started my gluten free diet I hadn’t even tried to make doughnuts, since I suspected the dough would be way too soft to make proper rolls. Contrary to my expectations, the doughnuts were really good and will do those again in the future.
I also made some jelly doughnuts, which takes us to our last little tale. I told my daughter how I tried to make jelly doughnuts back in the day: I patted the dough balls into thin rectangles, put the jam in the middle and wrapped it back to a ball. You might be able to guess how that ended… the moment I dropped the wrapped ball of dough in the boiling oil, they would open. And as a result I would have a pot full of jam, and weird blobs of dough to eat. Needless to say, we both laughed at this story quite a bit. But what made my daughter laugh even more, was when I told her that this time I would make jelly doughnuts the proper way – use a cake piper to put the jam inside the dough! And what’s so funny about that I wondered, and learned that you are supposed to put the jam in the doughnut after frying them.. Live and learn!